Vlogging Nasrallah Backfires Slightly...
From FireDogLake.com comes one of the funniest posts I've read in a while. Blogger Pam from Atlas Shrugs "vlogs" Nasrallah and Israel cancels her planned trip (to Israel). Don't miss Pam's YouTube vlogpost below!
We need to talk.
I thought we had a fucking deal. Me and all my liberal blogger cronies were going to blithely look the other way while you use overwhelming force against civilians in Lebanon, and you were supposed to take Pam from Atlas Shrugs and her excitable italics off our hands for a couple weeks.
And now I see that somehow in all the confusion last week, you backed off and now we’re stuck with her. From her blog:
The Press secretary of the Embassy of Israel called to cancel my trip to Israel. They recommend that I not go to Israel. Apparently they have canceled all my interviews and war coverage. Ugh.
Except to really get this statement in Pam-ese, it must be read:
Duh PRESS sick-ruh-tairy of duh EMM-buh-see of ISREE-uhl cuh-wald tuh KYEN-sul my trip tuh ISREE-uhl, etc….
In other words, someone in the Holy Land set up a bunch of interviews and events for her to attend and THEN looked at her blog and (eugh!) vlogs.
"Oh, shit! Itzhak! Get in here! We gotta problem!"
"Vhat? Vhat, Shlomo? Vhat’s so important it couldn’t wait until I’ve finished my coffee?"
"Remeber that blogger we’ve got coming from the US?"
"Who, zhet Pamela person?"
(Cut to computer screen, where Pam is dancing and rapping in front of a salt water aquarium , holding an empty martini glass.)
Pam: "Betchoo wish yuh guhlfrinn’ was hot-like-me…"
"You’re right, Shlomo. We got a problem. You’d better call her and cancel."
"But! But! I set up all these interviews! What do I tell her?"
"Tell her we’re closed! Vhat do I care? Just make sure she doesn’t come here! Vhe got enough of a humanitarian crisis on our hands already!!"
Damn you, Israel. We were all sooooooo looking forward to it. Out of all the 101st fighting keyboarders, one, ONE (!!) conservative blogger gets ready to suit up and charge headlong into a war zone and you cancel??!! It was all going to be so exciting! Pam in Tel Aviv, desperately trying to find a Saks because she left her lip-liner back on Long Island. Pam in desert fatigues a la Judy Miller and Edina Monsoon, drunkenly attacking a bunch of Israeli peace protestors, "ANTI-SEMIIIIIIITES!!" she screams, then mounts an IDF bulldozer and drives into the crowd, "SAY HELLO TO RAYYY-CHULL FRICKIN’ CORRIEEEE FUH ME, YA MOOOOOOO-SLUM SYMPUH-T’IZAAAAHSS!!"
And all for nought. You took it all away from us, Israel. And you’re going to PAY.