Ze Ultimate Solushion
I've had enough. And I've heard enough. Of Moooslims. About Moooslims. From Moooslims. About Islaaam and Radical Islaaam. About Holy Jihaaad and Shaaaria and the Caliphate and Imams and Ayatollahs and Fakestinians and Arabs and Islamic Terrorism and bin Laden and Islamonazis and Pesky Persians. Enough is enough is enough alright, already. I know that many in Whiteyland are with me: end the appeasement. No more messy compromises. So there are still a few moderate Moooslims left, so what? Sooner or later they'll radicalise too and form a fifth column. I say loud and proud that Whitey must now adopt the one percent doctrine, already in use by our brothers in the US of A, and take it to its logical extreme.But firstly we need to be all-inclusive of our Joooish brothers. They too have had it with Moooslims and who can blame them: Moooslims and Arabs seem to have only one purpose in life and that's to drive the Jooos into the sea.
Listen, Joooish brothers, I know Whitey got it a bit wrong with regards to you guys but that appears now to be all forgotten and forgiven. It was a bit of a technicality, really, that Christ killer myth. We didn't really mean it like that, it just got a liiiiittle out of hand. We didn't really read the fine print too well. And we're all considering Whiteyland's culture to be Judeo-Christian now, right? A bit of sloganeering and some propaganda later and we'll even be able to bring the anti-Semites on board as well. I mean, they hate people of colour with a vengeance too. And hatred is an attribute that will serve us well in Project "Total Relocation". Apparently it's G-d who will decide who enters the Luxury Resort in the Skies, Jooos or Xristians, so let's not squabble over it now.
Yes, the time has come for Whitey to come together and wage total war on Moooslims/Arabs, a war aimed at annihilation of said Moooslims/Arabs.
Plan "Total Relocation" will consist of a three-pronged attack:
1. Expulsion and vanishment of all ethnic Moooslims/Arabs currently living in Whiteyland.
2. Total war on all Moooslim/Arab lands with no prisoners taken. We will kill every Moooslim/Arab man, woman and child, flatten all Mosques and minarets and basically eradicate any Moooslim/Arab influence in Whitey's New World Order until even the last trace of Islamic culture has been tarmacked or astroturfed over.
3. We, as all victors do, will rewrite history. We, armed with the typex of political revisionism, will write Moooslims/Arabs and their culture of death out of the World's history books. In two generations or so from now, a few re-revisionist historians that claim there was once such a religion and people (Moooslims and Arabs) will be declared either certifiably insane or at least seriously anti-Whitey. Special powers we will have adopted by then will allow us to "specially render" these people to abandoned mines in Africa.
There is much to gain and nothing to lose. Firstly we'll be creating huge amounts of lebensraum. It's getting a bit crowded in Whiteyland and if we're all going to get hugely rich in a no-holds-barred economy, there will be a huge need for land for our Mansions on the Hills.
Secondly, the oil alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams: Arabia is basically a shallow layer of dusty sand floating on an ocean of black gold. We've always felt that stuff should have been ours, so now's our chance. We always wanted to do well, be the Herrenvolk...
Carbon sequestration and dumping of said carbon in our former playground Africa will combat global warming. And if we pay the Blackies a pittance for their trouble they'll be forever grateful to us.
Last but not least, we have all the experience and resources we need if we band together. The Eagles of the USA have all the fire-power and military technology needed and they're a gung-ho, here-and-now, no-nonsense people, easy to lie to and scare into "something bad is going to happen - quick: shoot!"-mode and they're good flag-wavers too.
European Whitey has centuries of bloodletting experience and knows a thing or two about imperialism, conquest and genocide. And they know the terrain well. And they're good at history too.
Russian Whitey? A mixed skill set I feel. But still good at avoiding courts by sectioning people psychiatrically or poisoning opponents in thoroughly confusing ways. Always useful to stifle dissent (not that there will be much of that).
And the Jooos? Traditionally a peaceful people that has suffered for far too long, they deserve a little break from the frontline. But I've been told they make excellent doctors and bankers. Don't knock it...
Of course there's the tedious question of who'll be the Leader in the New Dawn of Judeo-Christian Whitey (the Ultimate Decider, so to speak). I'm putting myself forward as a pragmatic and neutral candidate. I'm an atheist and that makes me the perfect choice: I'm not prejudiced toward this religion or that religion and find most of it infantile twaddle. But let's face it: rationalism is never going to win the day. In the face of attractive myths, a rational search for truth becomes an unattractive pass-time that leads to inconvenient truths. Great for scientists to develop ever more powerful weaponry with but not really good for morale. No, better then to adopt a good dollop of mythology and make our own rules: that too is a tried and tested method. Let religion be the opium of the people: doped heads are easier to manipulate anyway.
That leaves just one question: what to do with Leftist Whitey? Some will come to their senses but many will oppose us. Here, Latin America's Whitey will be able to contribute: their experience with the vanishments of Leftist opponents will prove invaluable.
Right now it all sounds like a dream but it doesn't have to stay that way. Whitey: awaken and fulfill your destiny!
Am I getting a feeling of deja vu here?
posted by Gert @ 2:24 PM
12 comments
12 Comments:
I'm thinking that Mars which most likely used to have life, might be an ideal place to send Muslims.
The camel dung should melt much of the planet, making it sort of livable, and who knows, maybe they'll discover oil there.
Gert:
I loved that post. Finally you're telling us how you, yes you, not the Guardian feels. And truth be told I agree. I'm sick of some of my people blaming all the world's calamities on the Moooslims. It goes against everything we ourselves profess to teach. In fact most knowledgeable "settles" see it far different from the American far-right crowd. They respect Islam far more than they do X-ianity and feel comfortable amongst Muslims(a bit weary but more or less comfortable).
I especially liked you saying
"It was a bit of a technicality, really, that Christ killer myth. We didn't really mean it like that, it just got a liiiiittle out of hand. We didn't really read the fine print too well. And we're all considering Whiteyland's culture to be Judeo-Christian now, right?
Right on, Gert, I couldn't agree more!
Gert, I am convinced that I had a substantial part in motivating this satire. Yea for me. I have much more in common with satirical Gert than serious Gert.
When you start bringing in all of this blood-drenched history of Britain and other Western nations, let us not forget that Islamic governments have committed crimes of equal magnitude! Oddly enough, some of the people who I have met who have had the largest hatred of Islam were Hindus and Sikhs. I also once knew a Greek girl and, although I never talked about politics with her, you could see that fury in her eyes whenever anything Islamic was around.
I honestly do not think that we, in Britain, are in any danger of turning into the sort of hysteria that you mentioned to do with anti-Semitism. We now have more Islamic schools and even some Shariah courts. I have not heard of Muslims leaving the country in droves as persecuted groups do.
I do not deny that there are some people who would not mind implementing some of the policies that you outline. I once worked with someone who used to take his dog for a walk near to where Muslim kids played crickets [dogs are unclean in Islam] and encouraged it to urinate on their coats/wicket stump. That is the sort of attitude that is worrying. I am sad to say it, but there may be more riots left. I really hope not. However, I do not think that the British government is being too aggressive towards Muslim fundamentalists at all. France, which does not have any time for American policy in the Middle East, would deport people who preached violent jihad - so it is not all just about oil and the C.I.A.
Just out of interest, what would you call a "moderate Muslim"? I do not consider the Muslim Council of Britain to be "moderate". Shahid Malik or Sayeeda Warsi is what I call "moderate".
All:
It was with some temerity that I opened this comment section, fearing some abuse as this piece of satire could be easily misconstrued. But that didn't happen (I guess it's not too late though - LOL).
BEAJ:
I guess your solution might be a tad expensive.
Eitan:
Thanks for reading it for what it is.
Madze:
You played a part, true, but you're not the only guy who thinks like you. Thanks for not taking things the wrong way!
MTA:
The MCB is an umbrella organisation made of many Muslim groups but they do not speak with one voice for all Muslims. You wouldn't recognise a Moderate Moooslim if he crept out of your nose, your bias runs very deep. You are an Islamophobe (I don't use that word very easily).
Gert: I simply(here we go with "simply" again;) didn't realize there was any other way to read into your post than I did so thank yourself for a good post, buddy!
I do believe that "Islamophobia" is an oxymoron. I suppose that this might almost make me one by definition. I do not see how it links to homophobia, for example. I feel that my resistance to the expansion of Islamic influence is rational - the opposite of a phobia. You have to remember, Gert, that your Bridlington is about as far away from a mosque as you can possibly get in England. [Specifically say England there - not Britain] I think that your view of Islam would be less woolly otherwise; I have noticed how you seem to think that some of things that I keep mentioning in mill towns are simply things that would never happen to your area.
MTA:
The meaning of terms like homophobe, Islamophobe or Judeophobe is well understood. With "oxymorons" this has nothing to do whatsoever. Semantics won't get you out of the hole you're digging for yourself.
I've yet to one single xenophobe who admits to it, that would be truly oxymoronic.
You extrapolate for your mill town experience and conclude "Mohammed was a Stalinist, Nazi Shite", then act surprised that others will consider you a died in the wool Islamophobe.
Your problem is that you can't distinguish between Radical Islam (Jihadists) and ordinary Muslims. There is no wooliness on this blog.
Well, Mohammed was a shit. There is no denying that, unless you have a morality that allows for mass murder, betrayal and paedophilia. Not all Muslims are, of course. You seem to just change the subject constantly. No wolliness? Come on, Gert! You have never been to Israel, never lived amongst Muslims or Jews - who is digging themselves into a hole by talking about things that they do not understand?
You believe that "Islamophobia" is like homophobia. Alright, but don't act as if everyone else does! Look at the first line here for starters, and follow its references! Are Johann Hari and Peter Tatchell bigots as well? They have both said that they think that "Islamophobia" does not belong in racism-sexism-homophobia categories.
Your problem is that you repeat yourself and usually just address one or two points in a post. You really also are unbearably arrogant; I know that I can lose my temper sometimes as well, but I never just respond to polite comments with rude ones like you do.
What is happening where I have lived my life is a bit like Northern Ireland has been: there are quite localised tensions that go in peaks and troughs; sometimes, there are riots; sometimes, all is calm; the rest of the country just cannot be bothered paying any attention, for the most part, and keep hoping that everything will boil over. You are one of those people. You do not have a clue about what it is like to live near Islamic fundamentalists - not a fucking clue! I know that not every single Muslim in Dewsbury is a fundamentalist, but then I expect that not every member of the government of Uzbekistan is a sadist neither; it is not really all that much comfort when there are enough in both categories to cause problems. Should we not oppose the government of Uzbekistan just because not every single member of its executive is involved in human rights abuse, or probably not even knowledgeable that its master breaks international law?
You do not seem to care about victims of Islam - whether it's a Hindu in Kashmir or a teenage girl in Oldham. All you seem to care about is repeating the same moderate-fundamentalist, which I have never actually denied. You also misunderstand the word "semantics".
There are people a lot more extreme than me. Please try repeating your same old points to some of these other people! Whilst you are at it, you ought to mention the monoracial chunk of the country that you live in. Just who are you calling Whitey? There is something very ironic about that part of your post.
Mill Town Whiner:
"Well, Mohammed was a shit. There is no denying that, unless you have a morality that allows for mass murder, betrayal and paedophilia."
Of the three monotheisms historically Islam doesn't come off looking all that bad, certainly comparing to Christianity. But today Radical Islam (the Islamists, Jihadists, al Qaeda or whatever you want to call them) are seriously misbehaving, that's true.
The claim that Mohammed was a paedophile is simply absurd and merely a cheap slur, trust someone like you to fall for that trick.
"You have never been to Israel, never lived amongst Muslims or Jews [...]"
I've never been to Israel, that's true. Why on Earth is that relevant here? It isn't. And where I live is not a Muslim or Jew-free zone. I've also lived and worked in three other European countries.
"You believe that "Islamophobia" is like homophobia. Alright, but don't act as if everyone else does! Look at the first line here for starters, and follow its references! Are Johann Hari and Peter Tatchell bigots as well?"
All forms of xenophobia are somewhat unique, yet they all share certain characteristics. You fit the profile of an Islamophobe very well. As regards Hari and Tatchell, I don't know these well enough.
"[...] but I never just respond to polite comments with rude ones like you do."
Where have I been rude here? By telling you that you are an Islamopbobe? You are, that much is clear. Wear it proud, brother...
"[...] but then I expect that not every member of the government of Uzbekistan is a sadist neither; it is not really all that much comfort when there are enough in both categories to cause problems. Should we not oppose the government of Uzbekistan just because not every single member of its executive is involved in human rights abuse, or probably not even knowledgeable that its master breaks international law?"
Here you almost make sense. The problem remains that you call an entire religion rotten for the actions of a few that have affected you. Expose Radical Islam as much as you want to (I'd be right behind you) but it's the equating of fundamentalists with the entire group that's problematic. Please also stop referring to my personal experience: you know nothing about that whatsoever.
"You do not seem to care about victims of Islam - whether it's a Hindu in Kashmir or a teenage girl in Oldham."
Ridiculous straw man and pure supposition on your part. It's that kind of thinking (jumping to conclusions) that leads you also to connect the actions of a few with the many that are completely innocent.
Try and get it through that thick skull of yours that blaming the many for the crimes of a few is part of your particular form of xenophobia.
"There are people a lot more extreme than me."
Sure, but why is that relevant? By the way, your previous blogging adagio "Mohammed was a Nazi-Stalinist shite" is pretty extreme in its own right, I do come across even more outspoken nonsense re. Islam, but not all that often either.
"Please try repeating your same old points to some of these other people!"
Actually, I already do, on many blogs: Eitan, Mad Zionist and BEAJ are but a few that get counter-fire for their Arabophobia/Islamophobia from me.
"Whilst you are at it, you ought to mention the monoracial [sic] chunk of the country that you live in. Just who are you calling Whitey? There is something very ironic about that part of your post."
This whole piece is satire, thus ironic from start to finish. By "Whitey" is understood the non-existent White Race to which so many in the West feel they belong and which, in their eyes, cannot do anything wrong. See also the many, many Western interventions, colonisations, coups and general subterfuge which has been part of the West's self-serving policies in the wider Middle East for the last fifty years. Although, if I want to be ironic about it again, I could also say that it's WASPish behaviour...
I'll keep it brief, which I am sure will please you.
The claim that Mohammed was a paedophile is simply absurd and merely a cheap slur, trust someone like you to fall for that trick.
It's recorded in the Hadith, which most historians of Islam consider to be worthy of consideration. These were written by Muslims - not by enemies of Mohammed. The Ayatollah Khonemi got married to a ten-year-old, and cited Mohammed as his justification.
All forms of xenophobia are somewhat unique, yet they all share certain characteristics. You fit the profile of an Islamophobe very well. As regards Hari and Tatchell, I don't know these well enough.
See here for Tatchell and Hari talking. A glance across of the websites for both of them would also show this.
Ridiculous straw man and pure supposition on your part. It's that kind of thinking (jumping to conclusions) that leads you also to connect the actions of a few with the many that are completely innocent.
But then you go on to say:
Try and get it through that thick skull of yours that blaming the many for the crimes of a few is part of your particular form of xenophobia.
Straw man! I have never said anything about hating foreigners ever. It was you who jumped to conclusions here, seeming to link foreigners and Muslim groups together. I can hardly find anything that even refers to foreigners on my blog thus far.
Also, I do not think that mine was a straw man, as you had made comments to the effect that you do not care about mill towns before. Perhaps, the Kashmir comment was a bit off.
I'll let the rest go, as I can tell that you're getting bored of this.
MTA:
You're using a very narrow and very literal definition of the term xenophobia. Today most people will recognise that homophpbia, racism, Islamophobia and other forms of xenophobia are all to do with fear or dislike (or even hatred) of social or population groups that are different from your own (strange or foreign as it were). They fall under the generic rubric of xenophobia.
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