To American editors: re. Charlie Wolf

To all American news outlet editors: can you please take the sassy moron and “republican in London” Charlie Wolf off our hands? We have no need for him here, struggling as we are with the Condems.

It seems to go a bit like this. We try and offload one of our most conservative citizens to across the pond and not to be outdone, you send us TWO of yours in return, as always more conservative than our gift to you (your centre not coinciding with ours). That’s not fair. This way we ended up with the likes of Janet Daley and annoying twit Charlie Wolf.

Here he was at it again, on last night’s Agenda (Press TV), discussing the merits of control orders with a British buffoon (whose name I forgot quickly), a gentleman from Cage Prisoners and Yvonne Ridley as host. Not to be outdone by our Brit (when a person who was street interviewed claimed he was ashamed of his country on account of control orders, said contributor exclaimed without shame that the interviewee ‘should go and live in another country!’), Wolf managed to suggest taking even more far reaching ‘counter terrorist’ measures. All this on the stated but fake grounds that '[Islamic] terrorism is completely unlike any other form of terrorism or crime', thereby justifying the sort of hocus pocus ‘justice’ that constitute Guantanamo Bay, water boarding and control orders. Wolf went on to denounce the terrorists as ‘beyond humanity’, ‘outside of morality’ (blahdiblah) and further normative nonsense, all of which is rather rich coming from a banal flag waver and Zionist media whore who undoubtedly supported two illegal wars and the illegal and immoral occupation and colonisation of Palestine. Not to mention this douche bag’s temerity to publicly call Rachel Corrie “scum”.

I know, I know, dear editors, I’ve alas not been able to convince you. But I’ve a killer argument to deploy yet. You see, poor Charlie, he’s contracted kidney cancer recently (2007). Surely you don’t want him to die of poor care at the hands of British NHS Socialist bush doctors, do you? Surely only the best and most expensive US health care for one of your own will do, won’t it? You could even employ him to comment on John Boehner’s futile and expensive efforts over the next two years to attempt to repeal ‘Obamacare’! That would be poetic justice and quite a coup for you, would it not? But he might not come cheap: he's entirely free-market driven...

Oh, one last thing: remind him not to forget to take his lapel badge with him: we’ve no need for it either…